so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
