mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
