Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
