super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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