Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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