I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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