singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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