Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
