And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
