Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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