you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
