I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
