Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
