They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
