are you so shy because you have an std?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
