What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
