He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
