I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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