A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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