u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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