what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
