She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Success! We fucked roommates!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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