im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
