Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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