Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
