the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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