how can u be prego again
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
