I want to stick my p in your. b.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
