Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
