I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
