i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
