Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
