is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Vodka?
Forever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
