Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
