The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
