Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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