took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
not ubering you a puppy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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