So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
