sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
