Got a toothbrush?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
