Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
