OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
