last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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