just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I will pee on everything he values.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
