This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
