It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
