Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
