After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
