it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
