I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
