No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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