Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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