So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
