I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
