i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
